


Sponsors

by roswyrm



Series: (Eric Andre Voice) What If It Was High School [5]
Category: Rusty Quill Gaming (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Gen, How Do I Tag, Swearing, uhhh feryn's there for a bit at the end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-25
Updated: 2018-10-25
Packaged: 2019-08-05 16:11:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16370834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roswyrm/pseuds/roswyrm
Summary: It's not that Oscar doesn'tlikeZolf Smith. It's just that one time, the kid cussed him out, and Oscar refuses to forget or forgive. It doesn't impact his grades or anything, Oscar's notthatpetty. But if Zolf tends to get called on more than anyone else in his fifth period...well.





	Sponsors

**Author's Note:**

> i refuse to figure out how zolf ended up actually making figgus join the as-yet-unnamed-club, so that's up to everybody's imagination. I don't know. Maybe I'll write it later. Working Title: _how many bridges can one kid burn? A Lot._

Zolf needs a teacher to sponsor the club he's supposed to be in. He's already got a member, a plan for meeting days, and a few posters he can plaster in enough hallways to make it look legitimate. So he made a checklist of teachers he could ask. Getting organised is something Feryn always asked him to do, anyway. Currently, the checklist looks like this:

 ~~Harringay~~  
~~Barnes (no)~~  
~~Mendeleev~~  
~~Edison~~  
Wilde (no)  
~~Kafka (maybe)~~  
~~Gaolir~~

So. Not exactly a great start.

Zolf knocks on the door of F212, and a voice calls, "You can't retake the quiz a third time, Zolf." _Of course Wilde already knows it's him._

He opens the door to find an empty room, Wilde lounging behind a desk. Zolf leans on the doorway to get weight off of his leg. He's been on a wild goose chase for the better part of fifteen minutes trying to find this asshole. He _really_ needs to put on another sock, but he left his bag in the car by accident. "Uh, I'm not here about the quiz."

Wilde furrows his brow in a mockery of confusion. "I can think of no other reason you would willingly step into my classroom." Zolf is going to _politely_ inform him that it's _not_ his classroom, it's the Human Geography teacher's, but he bites it back. He needs to not piss off Wilde right now. Zolf walks forward and hands Wilde a poster for the club. Wilde takes it, and his eyebrows raise higher and higher as he read it. "You want _me_ to sponsor _your_ club?" he asks.

Zolf shrugs. "Yeah."

Wilde looks up at him. "Why not Harringay? He likes you."

"He's too busy," Zolf says, shifting slightly to his right leg. Because it's uncomfortable to stand on his left, not because this is an awkward situation Zolf isn't equipped to deal with. 

(Zolf is excellent with people. He's got charisma coming out of his ears. Like that time he accidentally made Jonah cry at camp. And then got his ass kicked by Robin. And then got a dressing down from Sayell. A real people-person, Zolf is.)

"Barnes?" asks Wilde.

(A few weeks back, Barnes had been lecturing about _god knows what_ , and he'd been very cautious to talk around a particular subject. So Zolf, naturally, blurted out "just get on with it" _far louder_ than he intended to.)

Zolf scoffs, before awkwardly clearing his throat in an attempt to cover it up. If the look on Wilde's face is anything to go by, his attempt fails. "Uh, _no."_

Wilde leans back and gets his feet off the desk. "Really?" he asks, sounding like he honestly could not care less, "I thought you two got on well."

Zolf makes to twist Dad's ring around his finger, but it's not there. Right, Feryn's got it. Instead, he rubs at the place where it used to be. "I-- we _did."_

"Did he deserve whatever it was you said to him?" Asks Wilde, leaning over the desk with a _concerned_ face. Zolf glares. Wilde grins. "Thought not. Why not ask--"

Zolf cuts him off, which he knows won't help, but he's very tired, and he wants to sit down sometime in the next century. "You're quite literally my last resort. If I had anybody else left to ask, I would. They all said no."

Wilde purses his lips and looks down at the poster Zolf made. And Zolf prays to any and all gods (hell, he worshipped _Poseidon_ in like, year six, maybe a pipe will burst and _that'll_ make Wilde agree) that Wilde doesn't turn him down, too. Wilde doesn't look up from the poster. "What," he asks, "is the magic word?"

Wh-- _magic word?_

Zolf's gonna punch him. Zolf is _going_ to punch him. _Full in the mouth_. Or maybe headbutt him. Wilde's close enough. He's at the right level for it, for once. But it's suffering through this for a minute or dealing with Feryn's heartbroken looks for at least a month. So he grits his teeth and says, "Please."

Wilde leans back again, still holding the poster, and declares, "Done. Let me talk it over with Ms Starling. Your club should be all set up by Tuesday." 

Zolf sighs in relief and makes his way to the door. "Right," he says instead of a thank-you. But Wilde is the _worst_ , and he calls after Zolf.

"Magic words, Zolf!"

Zolf turns in the doorway and fixes the English teacher with a glare. Wilde doesn't look apologetic in the slightest. Making it as clear as he can that he means _several_ swear words, Zolf grits out, "Thank you, _Mr Wilde."_ Wilde smiles like that cat that got the cream (Zolf's going to punch him in the dick at some point, he swears to god) and flicks his fingers in a shitty faux-salute. Zolf closes the door.

He sits down next to the stairwell, backpack a few steps below him. He texts Feryn, **tutorials are over come get me**  
_what, no 'please'?_  
**i don't need to say please i have blackmail**  
_what blackmail? mum & dad think i'm perfect_  
**sixth form, holly schwarz**  
_alright alright! omw_  
_little jerk_  
**> :)**

**Author's Note:**

> PROLOGUES OVER PROLOGUES OVER PROLOGUES OVER time to wreak havoc and make all of these characters meet up :)!!!  
> check me out on tumblr @roswell-the-wrongdoer where i post dumb things and make fun of the creators. (for example: fun, recently discovered fact, most of ben's characters are magic twinks. elias, tjelvar, monsoon. cigarillo lee wasn't magic, but. Like.) maybe now, i'll show some fucking restraint and i won't post this bs until a reasonable time has passed. (i wont. i so wont. i defo won't.)


End file.
